February 2012
134 posts
If my blog has a specific philosophy, it is this:...
Savannah Smiles
Girl Scout cookie or porn actress?
1 tag
I love Dan Savage.
…but not in THAT way, sicko.
THE HUNGER GAMES!
Buy donuts for your coworkers and coat one of them with your pubes. The person who eats the pube donut is the unknowing winner(or loser?).
If that fails, Soggy Biscuit.
nesbittslimesoda replied to your post: I passed Alexandria’s written exam.
When’s the test where they hit you in the nuts with a sack of quarters and then count how many tears come out of your eyes?
~That is the CTSI (Candidate Testicular Substantiability Index), administered after they stick a lit birthday candle in your butthole and time how long you allow it to burn down.
New Custard Could Cause Worldwide Flandemic - The... →
“The proof will be in the putting of containment teams in high-risk areas.”
Today is my last day at the liquor store.
It’s been a lot of fun, but I need to bring in some more money for the household until I get that fire department job. This new job should be good, though I am going to miss things around here.
Three posts into Whitewhine.com did not have me...
I passed Alexandria's written exam.
Next step: Physical agility test in about a month. Better get training.
Tumblr! I need your help →
littletinyfish:
idontgetrunnershigh: My local running store is giving away a free pair of running shoes to who ever has the most likes on their reason why they run. It seems to be down to me and another runner. My story is that after running my first marathon I went in for physical therapy on my hip. I reconnected with a beautiful girl from High School and convinced her to run the 2009 Chicago...
Yes, and you don't want to piss him off. 'Smith'...
lady88 replied to your post: 1. Start following extremely popular Tumblr blog.
Don’t talk about Matt like that…he’ll find out. He has eyes EVERYWHERE.
From BadBatz:
Whipped Cream Pinnacle
And Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill
Dessert or Drink? Both!
~Haiku AND serving suggestion.
1. Start following extremely popular Tumblr blog.
2. Wait two weeks for anything of substance.
3. Start wondering how this person ever became so damn popular, since their blog is nothing but boring, self-absorbed bullshit.
4. Unfollow.
5. Repeat process a week later with a different blog.
Now your FRIDAY haiku.
Not one customer
Lonely in the liquor store
Fiddle my Dingus
1 tag
Now, your thursday haiku.
Blue toilet water
My poop and pee turn it green
Like fecal Swamp Thing
Virginia Beach written exam will be March 22.
Virginia Beach and Alexandria are my two top choices, either one would be great to work for. Here goes!
Three words that became hard to say
I, and just, and sharted.
I feel like a large part of our generation has...
Until that changes I’ll have to deal with all this bland, emotionless, shitty music.
When I hear new songs that have lyrics about X-Box...
Also, I hope Tumblr actually looks through my blog...
Skippity doo bop.
Tumblr better not shut down my Vomiting-On-Puppies...
After hearing it mentioned in Hemmingway's "The...
Our liquor store doesn’t carry one.
1 tag
After crawling through 'Fire Prevention and...
Fire Control. A whole month of finally putting water on fire, concluding with a live burn at the Buxton burn building.
random plug: iannorris
scottfriday:
if you like english gentlemen, cowboys, pipes, dogs, and beautiful photography, i suggest you check him out. he’s quite a wonderful fellow, and very down to earth.
iannorris.tumblr.com
Seconded. Genuine gentleman.
High Fiber Tortillas (48% Daily Fiber) X 2 =...
And this is just the prelude.
If Ian Norris and I became an ass-whomping dynamic...
Most definitely.
iannorris replied to your post: If my lifetime of good will towards men nets me some awesome afterlife powers, I think I would want to become the patron saint and bodyguard of all women being harassed by men.
you’ll need a sidekick. all heroes have sidekicks.
The bullshit that my fiance had to deal with has...
It makes me want to fight.
If my lifetime of goodwill towards men nets me...
I would just materialize, deliver the most traumatic ass-whomping that my 215 lbs. is capable of, and disappear in a poof of smoke.
Christcakes, it is beautiful outside today.
It is 64 and sunny, feels just like spring.
I am really hoping I land one of these six career...
Applying to a firefighting career isn’t like most job applications. The whole process usually takes more than seven months. It requires massive paperwork and forms (as illustrated in my earlier post), in conjunction with written and psych exams, multiple interviews, agility testing, and polygraphs. Between acquiring documents, sending them, and driving to the locations to participate in...
Fire applications are straight torture, son.
If you want to be a career firefighter, we are just going to need the following:
Background Investigation, Credit History Investigation, Birth Certificate, Driver’s License, Social Security #, College Degree and transcripts, Criminal History Records from every place you have lived, Driver’s History, and a 30-page Personal History Questionnaire consisting of your previous employment...
Anonymous asked: How much does a fifth of Kentucky gentleman usually cost?
Hey all you women out there
I feel for you.
This experience with my fiance and her boss has really opened my eyes. I always thought that sexism and harrasment in the work place where things of the distant past. Afterall, this is 2012, for fuck’s sake. But I realize now that this bullshit still happens, in places all over the country.
In my fiance’s case, she was unfortunate enough to work in a place that...
"Since no one was around, I was tempted to take a...
~Little Magnolia, after turning in her resignation letter to her alcoholic, sexist shitheel of a boss.
"The future is my dick, dude."
~NailTipFlips
Matt and the Lady?
Damn, tonight is the night of epic Tumblr meet-ups.
Michael Moore just settled a big lawsuit.
You bet your ass the Krispy Kreme will get his order right next time.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
I am meeting Scott Friday tonight. ON A FRIDAY NIGHT.
My Fiance
is fucking awesome. I love her a ton, in case any of you didn’t already know. I’ve never met a girl who could be simulaneously adorable and sexy, yet she pulls both off, all the while being fiercely intelligent, compassionate, and uncompromising in her priciples, which run deep and true. I’ll miss her this weekend. It’s funny, we used to go 5 weeks at a time without...
Math can be damned hard when it wants to be.
Some of these story problems are stretching my mind like Goatse.
Effort X Effort Distance = Resistance X Resistance...
In your pants.