December 2011
80 posts
1 tag
Happy New Year's Summer's Eve.
May your 2012 be fresh and clean, not stinky and yeasty.
I just want to remind all of you who are my...
And I need to say that more often.
Well none of that worked.
I haven't checked for updates in awhile, going to...
If this crashes my computer I will be very disappointed in all of you.
Random Confession:
Once when i was younger, having access to no other form of pornography, I put in my folk’s VHS tape of ‘Titanic’, and rubbed one out to the nude drawing scene.
I’ll never let go. I’ll never let go.
I hope everyone had a blessed Boxing Day.
Merry Pissmas.
Seriously, this is the greatest blog ever made.
http://dirtypalindromes.blogspot.com/
1 tag
thekelsmith asked: Ok, Mr Bored. List as many homophones and palindromes as you can think of. Dirty ones first, of course. Alphabetical after that. :)
2 tags
Also, if I was Captain Kirk, I would refer to...
Did I mention I’m bored?
Speaking of tits, my new nickname for Bisquick is...
1 tag
WE ARE THE GALACTIC FEDERATION OF TITS.
OUR MISSION IS THE INTERSTELLAR PRESERVATION, AWARENESS, AND CELEBRATION OF TITS.
(Christ, I am bored as shit.)
I should mention that photo is old; Bisquick...
Magnolia hand-washes and pampers her like a furry Elizabeth Taylor these days. Biz has never had it so good.
1 tag
SPACE HITLER.
The ultimate movie title, premise, and villian.
50 notes for Bisquick in bondage.
I clobbered my practicals last night.
If y’all ever need a rescue ladder deployed, I’m your man.
I will be fielding any Bisquick/bondage related...
Whenever I hear Adelle's song "Someone Like You",...
I just heard a terrible joke. The punchline was...
3 tags
I'd shoot five missiles into HER metroid.
"GO SUCK YOURSELF!"
Magnolia’s new favorite phrase to shout at me/the television while playing Super Metroid.
"The Bud Ice-ening"
What you’d call tonight if it was a movie.
Kim Jong ill.
That’ve been a great newpaper headline yesterday.
Jesus, I just made.
It was terrible.
I HAVEN'T MADE YET BUT I AM PREDICTING THAT'S...
On a bet, I ate a heroic amount of pizza today.
The largest among us could only eat two pieces of chicago-style. I ate two chicago style and two additional meat-lovers. Each piece the size of a child. I ate four greasy babies today.
And now, yet more sexual inuendo heard in fire...
(FF1, Ladders)
“Make sure from time to time you look up at the tip.”
“Try not to prematurely drop.”
“Your halyard is flaccid”
“I just can’t get it up.”
I just saw a 2 lb. pomeranian puppy.
Man, fuck that thing.
"Fiya fightahs gettin' pussy for the first time in...
~The Departed
You scale a tower ladder 100 feet in the air and...
That can be disconcerting. Oh well. You want this double-bagged?
I am listening to 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'...
Think about it.
1.) "I needed my girlfriend's dad to help me get...
Two statements, said by two different co-workers this morning, that I am presenting to you completely out of context.
"I've always admired your ability to be...
~Seymour Skinner
In one hour, the following activities shall...
1.) The blowing of raspberries on dachshund belly
2.) The emphatic drinking of an Icehouse tallboy
3.) Empassioned lovemaking to a hot itty-bitty committee of titties
4.) The union of peanut butter and crackers
5.) Super Metroid
My ball is bruised.
And that self-induced dinging occured trying to save a plastic bottle of Smirnoff Vanilla. I feel so cheap.
FOR THE WIN!
I was just ringing up a customer’s mini bottles and I dropped one. I instinctively shot my hand down to grab it but instead managed to swat myself right in the scrotom in front of a line of customers.
My stomach hurts!
Our life, in conversations
Me: That dress looks great on you! Wait, is that a dress or a sweater?
Her: Technically it’s a sweater. And it’s a size small.
Me: You’re so small. In fact, you’re itty-bitty.
Her: I’m an itty-bitty titty committee.
Me: No you’re not. Your tits aren’t small, you just are.
Her: Well they are a committee, because there’s more than one of...
College chicks who wear thongs are obviously...
Thanks Ragdoll, for the inspiration.
@ragdoll:
Jon Paul Shartre.